What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What! how could you do that?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Why do unattractive men assume that a pretty woman like me want them?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Hello I am 17 year old boy and I am interested in transgender why?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

How did you get to be a leftist?

True - how I loved my mum!

Do you know what she said mum?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Why do you allow your cat to lie in bed with you?

What do you mean son?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

When will dating stop being so hard for Gen Z?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”